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Sometimes people will search for a method to end their lives quickly and painlessly and there are answers, but know that none of them is really painless.
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Alicia

Age:28  Editor

On EnkiVeryWell over 10 years

Begin a day with a simile and end it with another—— happy and healthy for the whole life!
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  • ByebyeDec.15 20:24
    I need a sure fire way. Chronic pain has driven me over the edge. I don't hate life , I hate my chronic pain and yes, life is now garbage but I'm lucid and not upset because I'm depressed about things. I just don't want to be in pain anymore . I tried my best visiting Drs and 5 operations later , I'm no better and if there is anyone on this earth I hate, it's a dr. They are wicked people. They only like sucess stories , if they have to think and actually waste their time trying to figure out what will work , they want you to go away, keep their stats and reputation in order . They also know you're desperate so they play a lot of games . Make you jump through a million hoops with promises if you're an obedient dog, they may help. I had a surgeon finally say he would do a procedure and after I went under , he changed his mind. This put me over the edge because I was left with my pain and then pain from the operation on top of it and the inflammation from the surgery exacerbated the pre-existing pain! It's a long worthless story and none of it matters. I need to stop wasting time trying to get better , it's never going to happen , 7 years in, it's obviously over. I need to put my energy into something worthwhile instead of searching for answers and treatments . At least I can accomplish something . I just need a good home for my cats and they are the only thing I feel guilty about . Leaving them behind makes me really just hate myself but u need out. No one else will care and I'm fine with that. You're only left with yourself . No one lives forever , we are all going to die. Sometimes our body dies first and we just need to end brain activity and the heart to complete the process . People die everyday , my life is not more special than the next person. I tried to get dr assisted suicide but the places in the US are full of bs, you have to prove you only have 6 weeks left . Well I can rot in bed for another decade I'm sure , but I don't want to! I just want a sure fire way and to be able to find my cats a good home. I take really good care of them and I'm afraid no one will care for them the same way. There are no other loose ends. I'm ready to go
    Reply
  • DustinDec.16 07:52
    This may sound stupid but movies saved my life I was just about to slit my wrists when startrek came on I watch it and it taught me no matter how bad it may seem never give up never give in you are worth it and life is beautiful
    Reply
  • SHRDec.16 14:14
    "Talk to your loved ones" my ass. No family, no friends, only shallow "friends" who pretend they care but outright ignore me when I try to explain my problems. No one in this world gives a damn if I live or die or if I'm happy or sad. So many are loved, yet they say I'm asking for too much when all I want is just one person caring about my existence, just one person to hug and make me believe that I am not alone in this cruel world. Easy to say that "life is beautiful as long as you have hope", but I've lost all hope already. I spent years struggling and trying to be positive. I tried to be strong and look at the good things in my life. However, slowly, every single good thing in my life is being taken away from me and I am powerless to do anything. I say "don't give up!" and try different things, only to witness them fail. "something will change" "keep trying" "you don't know what the future holds" are what I used to tell myself to live another day. I just need ONE good thing to happen, even if it is small, so I can hope, but it isn't happening...
    Reply
  • Dead GuyDec.16 23:44
    Good bye world..this will be my last text i ever write..enjoy this world without me i am going to shoot myself with my dad's gun, this is 2 much for me
    Reply
  • SamuelDec.17 04:02
    Fuck this. Number 1 sounds good
    Reply
  • Kryptonite Dec.17 04:31
    I can't live in the world where people on look on how much money you've made and how success you are. The worst part is you know what would make you happy and enough to pay the bills,but it's never enough for your so called loved ones. Sometimes I wondered why my parent didn't kill me in the first place when I'm never good enough to be their child.
    Reply
  • TLSDec.17 11:15
    hi im tasha. i dont know how to say this but let me try.. my dad, is really obsessed with his dreams, he wants me to become a success girl and i know that's what all fathers in the world do. but, there are times, when i failed on my test, or do something that's bad in his eyes, he didn't worry to hit me with chain, or everything that he thinks can make me cry. i lost hope. i tried to calm him down, but he just looked like he probably can kill me anytime he wants. since i was a kid, he never see the good side of me, he called me bitch, he told me that im useless, and you will never know how broken my heart was to hear my own father called me like that. it was really painful. then again, he's a big liar, he cheated on my mom. i read all his text messages with his bitches out there, and it's all make me wanna kill him everytime i saw him smile, i'm never happy with him. he just yell at me everytime he saw me. and i thought maybe he hates me too and that's OK. because i hate him MORE. i just wanna make him realize how precious his kids are, so he can learn from it (i hope). people should lose something to learn something. so that's why..i wanna hang myself to make my father realize that his girl is lost hope on him.
    Reply
  • monuDec.17 11:46
    If we cut our neck using sharp edge knife , how long will take to die?
    Reply
  • TashaDec.17 12:18
    i came back from school and entered my room to find peace. suddenly my mom screamed my name and yelled at me, and also my dad. i came out to check what just happened like "what's for now?". when i came out of my room, my fucking cheating dad slapped me on my face for about six times. he said bad words to me. he didn't let me say a single thing, when i actually wanna explain everything. he told me that i'm useless and you'll never know how painful it was. i'm broken. emotionally and phisicly. it happened to me everydays. i just really want to end my life by eating drugs or hang myself up in my fucking room, and if they care enough about me, they will find my dead body in the morning and then realize that i have through a lot of shit in my fucking life. and they make it even worst. i'm mentally die. i have no fear to end my fucking life bcs they're my biggest fear. they probably may kill me anytime they want. i'm a girl who is afraid of her own family. --- i hurted myself today by cutting my hand with glass. and i posted a short story on a suicide blog.
    Reply
  • JDec.17 23:23
    I have always been alone. I was born alone. I never had any friends and no one ever was intimate with me. Relatives all dead. Girls don't like fat guys. At least no one will mourn my death. I shall not cause any sadness.
    Reply
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